One of the largest secrets we strive to keep is a sense of independence and self-esteem. The idea or emotion that you are important in some distinct way, that you are adored by a unique person, that an individual is giving you special attention, these are some of the ego’s very delicate secrets. We are striving to hide our Divine Self and are engaging in all these varied games, which seem to be very upsetting. It is pretty depressing and it really doesn’t go anywhere, so we try to get scraps of unique love, attention and acknowledgment to prop ourselves up.
We toil so hard at becoming “improved people”, at acquiring greater intelligence and more skills. We want to be admired more and be more well-known. The entire self-help field is focused on improving the self so you can grow into a better you. That is another trick we secretly play on ourselves, thinking we have to keep spinning our wheels trying to become better. This self-improvement game is another secret we can to learn to let go of. It is very calming when you start to understand that you do not have to turn into any better than you presently are. You were formed perfect. It is not through self-improvement that you find peace but through self-acceptance.
As I worked with A Course in Miracles, I could notice that there was a dread of divine love in my mind. I realized this was the ego’s dread of losing itself. The ego is afraid of being exposed and being seen as a puff of nothingness. That is the apprehension of intimacy. We discuss about this dread in relationships, which is sometimes depicted as fear of sexual intimacy, but it is really a dread of dropping our persona, our mask of uniqueness. It is the terror of getting swept away by a splendid love, a love so intense that none of us can even envision something as glorious and mighty!
For me, those are the big secrets, because it doesn’t start off with this great consciousness. It always starts with feeling like you have done something incorrect, whether you’ve pleasured yourself, swiped something, mistreated somebody, or there is something in your mind that you have deemed as so ghastly that you don’t even want to meet it, you just want to forget about it and push it out of consciousness.
Underneath all those reminiscences and thoughts, is the belief that we are divided. This is the “secret” we hide. It really is an unfeasible belief, but we assume that it is true; We have deemed it as horrific and have pushed it out of awareness. All unconscious guilt comes from this belief in separation. And as you really offer yourself over to the miracle, you feel all those hidden beliefs and secrets are being washed away and you finally confront this hidden belief in separation!
Please, share any thoughts and observations with me below, I’d adore to hear about your encounter!
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